There is no getting away from it. Eating meat means taking a life.

I understand the horror vegetarians feel. I love vegan cuisine.

But I am a meat eater. Maybe once a week. I can feel the nutritional value it brings to my body.

If I were a hunter – I imagine – I would kill the animal, and lie down and cry because I had killed it. (I saw this on TV once). Then eat it. Hopefully with reverence.

But I could be romanticising.

The fact is I cannot square killing for food.

At least I can make sure the animal was well looked-after while alive.

Which is why I choose organic meat.

On Christmas day, we cooked and ate a goose from Sheepdrove Organic Farm.

Declaration of interest: I work with Sheepdrove Organic Farm. But – you know me – I can only work with a cause or company I believe in.

Check out Sheepdrove Organic Farm. Lots of great info on its website: including the importance of grass-fed creatures and Eating less meat? Eat better meat!

Sheepdrove Organic Farm’s head butcher, Nick Rapps, is passionate about showing people how to eat organic meat in a budget.

For instance, buy cheaper organic cuts (not pre-cut packages) from an actual butcher who can provide the unusual cheaper cuts. Cheaper cuts need slower cooking.

Nick Rapps’s The Organic Butcher’s Blog at Food Magazine is a treasure trove of tips. Here’s Nick on the organic Christmas turkey on a budget.

My sister, Geraldine, cooked our Christmas goose.

Listen-up. True to our ancestors, she is a real food lover.

My sister said: “How did I cook the goose? It was good, wasn’t it? And simple to cook. I rubbed salt and pepper and fresh grated ginger on the skin. Then scrunched wet greaseproof paper, smoothed it out and covered the goose. The formula is 20 minutes per pound on a low heat roughly 150/Gas Mark 2/300  Our goose took about 5 hours. Regularly,  pour fat off the roasting pan (and keep it later for roasting veg) otherwise the goose fat will overfill the pan. Most importantly, let it “rest” a good half-an-hour after taking it out the oven.”

We served the Sheepdrove goose with an array of colourful vegetables, cooked by other members of the family so not one person did all the work.

Red cabbage and apples, squash and coconut, cranberry sauce, roast potatoes, Brussels sprouts, gravy.

PS I lost my ‘phone over Christmas. However – curiously – on the day I lost my ‘phone, I sent a picture of our Christmas meal (above) to myself. Which was lucky as I had not backed up my images since November so the Christmas meal pic would have been lost. Funny, eh?

I was detailed to make Black Forest gateau for our family feasting on Christmas day.

I had a plan: to substitute the flour with ground almonds.

Christmas eve 8 pm. Omigod. Scoured cupboards: no ground almonds. Damn.

(My canary-like constitution cannot take the much-hybridised wheat, hence my desire to avoid it.)

However: necessity is the mother of invention (Love a good cliché).

I found this recipe for Black Forest gateau without flour - bless you La Creme, Port Talbot, which uses cocoa instead of flour.

By some miracle, I had gone mad in Wild Oats  – with its far-out irresistible ingredients – and bought raw organic cocoa from Choc Chick and organic agave nectar that very day.

(Life is an experiment. This blog is too: I was experimenting writing it on my phone and hoopla, it published without my say-so.)

So, Christmas eve and I was experimenting. Exchanging flour for cocoa, and the sugar for agave nectar (which is low GI but make sure the agave is organic, otherwise the processing robs it of its nutrients and is bad for the soil too).

I paced around, thinking. Researched on the web.

I had to do lots of calculations – cups into grammes, grammes into ounces - which hurt my poor discalculiac head. Of course children should learn to cook at school. Maths in action. Useful maths. The kind of maths you actually need in real life.

Finally (10.30 pm), I knew I could procrastinate no more.

There are key moments in cooking. Such as commitment.

I broke the eggs. No turning back now.

Here is what I did.

Cake ingredients: 8 organic eggs + two-thirds of a cup (150 mls) of organic agave nectar  + 90g of raw organic cocoa.

(I used one less egg than in the original recipe because agave nectar requires reducing liquid by 1 fluid ounce i.e. one egg). (The recipes said: 2/3. Well, I can tell you, that is NOT 2-3 cups but TWO-THIRDS…slight difference…).

1. Crack and separate the eggs:  yolks in one bowl and whites in another. (And never the twain shall meet – until they have been whisked, separately).

2. Whisk the egg yolks until creamy and mousse-like.

3. Sift the cocoa into the creamy egg yolks. Fold in with a large tablespoon without stirring (folding helps guard the bubbles you have worked so hard to create).

4. Whisk the egg whites until they form stiff peaks.

5. Fold those egg whites into the egg yolk+cocoa mixture, carefully, a third at a time, in a under-and-over circular movement so not to batter your bubbles.

6. Heat the oven to 180 / Gas Mark 4 . Cooking with agave? Reduce temperature a bit and slightly lengthen cooking time.

7. Prepare baking tins. I used these wondrous Victoria Surprise ones from Lakeland. But two or three ordinary sponge cake tins will do. And they ARE worth lining and greasing with greaseproof paper. You will say thank you when the cakes emerge easily.

8. Spoon in the mixture into lined tins.

9. Bake for about 15 – 20 minutes. Note: cakes using agave nectar brown more easily so cover the cakes loosely with aluminium foil while baking.

10. Filling: stir together 200g organic half-cream fraiche + drained (no-sugar organic Demeter-certified) sour cherries  + grated (or grind in a nut grinder) dark organic chocolate. Tip: if all else fails, Just Make The Filling – light, fruity, delicious.

11. When cakes are cooled, spread the filling between the layers. Assemble the night before so the juices can sink into the cake and moisten.

Creme fraiche is less rich than cream but worry not, o indulgent ones: we used whipped cream for the topping.

And the cake was delicious.

Banana bread + organic creme fraiche + Better Food Spicy Apple and Citrus Preserve

Experiment: Spoke a first draft instead of writing it. Took me five minutes. Could this be the way forward?

Here is what I said (with few amends).

Due to a delicate digestion, I think a lot about how I feel after what I have eaten.

The food is delicious. But how does it sit in my gut?

So I was interested to read in Natural Lifestyle an article by nutritionist Christine Bailey about healing the inflamed gut. A new idea. Is it possible?

The article recommended homemade yogurt (I am a believer), and well-cooked vegetables with meat broth, avoiding all grains.

The article gave a recipe for banana bread using ground pecan nuts instead of flour. No sugar. Honey instead.

Finding-out how to grind the nuts was a mission.

I even bought a new hand blender. I drove myself and the assistant at Kitchens mad questioning the nut-grinding function of every machine and found all nuts when ground eventually go to a paste because of the heat.

So it seemed nut-grinding might be a Shangri-La illusion.

So I bought my £30 Philips hand blender with a grinding attachment and further research found freezing the nuts might stop them getting too oily too fast.

I froze the nuts. I used the nut blender attachment, I found with short burts and not expecting too much fineness, I ground the nuts. It worked.

Pecan nuts are more expensive than flour. Nuts are more expensive than flour.

Here is Christine Bailey‘s recipe. I changed it: got rid of the baking agents, using eggs to make it rise, and two bananas instead of one. It filled one small and one big loaf tin. You could substitute the pecans for other ground nuts.

Grind/blend 10 1/2 oz (300g) frozen pecan nuts. A cinnamon stick adds grit to oily nuts. Add 2 tsp ground cinnamon to ground nuts. Whizz four eggs until airy then whizz with two tablespoons of olive oil (I used melted ghee butter) and one large or two small ripe banana until airy and smooth. Combine gently with nuts and cinnamon. Pour into two oiled loaf tins. Bake 180C Gas Mark 4 for 40 minutes until firm to touch. 

The banana bread tasted a bit worthy and I did go non-vegan spreading it with organic butter.

It must be noted, it was easy to eat, not sickly-eating sweetness

and afterwards my gut felt good.

It would not have been so happy with the grain.

The banana bread is a keeper but it does need a spread and I wonder what you might add to luxuriate the baked bread.

And have you grappled with nut-grinding?

I was told yesterday that today is the last day of the Mayan calendar.

That means the end of 28,000 years of hierarchy and oppression.

Yippee!

And I have finally found a spouting system that works.

I bought this jar with its plastic perforated lid from Harvest, part of Essential Trading Worker Co-op.

DIY types can make their own. Or use old tights or muslin as the lovely Alys Fowler suggests.

Or buy one like mine (after years of experimentation, I can vouch that This One Works), and get loads of sprouting info from Living Food of St Ives.

First you put the dry (organic) seeds in the jar.

Add water and leave them overnight to bring them to life.

After that first long soak, you wash the seeds daily (or twice, thrice).

The seeds like being clean and wet (not soaked or drowned).

So after filling the jar with water, swill the seeds around then drain away the water (hence the natty perforated lid which makes life so much easier).

And how is this for a virtuous circle? I drain the water on the indoor plants so they get a regular watering.

After a few days, I have produced living things.

Here are some sprouting chickpeas, looking positively Lawrentian.

(DH Lawrence being one of my fave authors because he describes life on its different levels: soul, mundane etc and because: “Lawrence believed that industrialised Western culture was dehumanizing…”).

So now I am going sprout-mad. Sprouts in stews. On toast with cream cheese.

Whizzed with Organico Artichoke Spread for instant hummus.

Hold on a minute. Did I say hummus?

I ask myself: WHY make hummus with cooked chickpeas when you can use extra-bursting-with-vitality FRESH sprouting raw chickpeas?

So, I substitute the cooked chickpeas for my Lawrentian darlings, add some turmeric and crushed coriander seeds (must sprout THEM one day) and of course lemon juice, olive oil, tahini, raw garlic, as in my usual recipe for hummus .

And it was delicious.

I like fat. Butter, cream, olive oil.

But trans fats give fat a bad name.

Artificial trans fats are made by an industrial process of hardening, or “hydrogenating”, oil.

Trans fats are in food – but they are not food.

Trans fat is basically candle wax made from vegetable oil.

The food industrialists use it because it is a cheap filler, prolongs shelf life and has useful cosmetic attributes i.e. it can make a cake look light and fluffy.

As you can imagine, eating candle wax is not good for you: trans fats are toxic and clog up arteries.

There is plenty of scientific evidence to show trans fats are a huge health risk.

Based on the Precautionary Principle (why take an unnecessary risk?), organic standards have always banned trans fats.

Several enlightened countries, as well as New York City, Seattle and the state of California have now also banned them.

The Independent recently asked: why are trans fats still legal in the UK?

Trans fats may appear on a packet as: shortening; hydrogenated vegetable oils; HVO; partially hydrogenated vegetable oils; PHVO.

It’s up to the trans fats manufacturers how to describe trans fats; there are no regulations on terminology.

Dr Alex Richardson, author of They Are What You Feed Them and founder-director of the charity, Food and Behaviour Research, says:

“Good foods make bad commodities; good commodities make bad food.”

What a great quote – sums up our current food crisis…

I have been hanging on to this cutting from The Big Issue since 2008.

It’s an article by Maggie Stanfield, the author of Trans Fat: The Time Bomb in your Food (Souvenir Press).   See the book cover at top of this post.

According to Maggie Stanfield, eight of the big supermarkets said in January 2007 they would remove all trans fats from their own brand ranges. “Some managed it. Others didn’t.”

According to the Independent, Marks & Spencer, Waitrose and the Co-operative own-brands are now trans-fat free. And, I believe, Sainsbury’s.

In 2010, the National Health Service watchdog, Nice, called for a total ban but instead we got more paper pledges:  in March 2011, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and KFC (and many more) promised to remove artificial trans fats by the end of this year. So did Tesco and Asda.

They promised. By the end of 2011.

What do you think? Can we trust ‘em?

As a journalist and food campaigner, I help Fish4Ever with its communications. I cannot work for a cause or company I don’t believe in.

So, I have the privilege of asking nosy questions and learning about the politics of fish.

Lunch: a fried-medley of Fish4Ever sardine fillets (Steenberg’s Organic online £1.60) on a bed of organic rice vermicelli.

Medly: I fry sliced shallots/onions, garlic and chilli in the organic oil in which the fish are canned – Fish4Ever uses 100% organic land ingredients.

I add the sardine fillets, mashing them (was that respectful?). I snip-in fresh parsley .

Fish4Ever canned fish is in a class of its own, fished traditionally (70% MSC-certified, the rest artisan) and quickly-conserved for freshness.

I am a real food lover and here’s why: you do good – it tastes good.

Why is it important to look after the fish?

Fishing technology is too effective. Desired species are being hunted to extinction.

Its hunting methods are indiscriminate, killing turtles, sea birds, dolphins.

There are too many factory boats and not enough fish. Regulations to control catches are insufficient and often ignored. Out at sea, where no one is looking, rules can be flouted. Poor countries suffer from foreign piracy on an industrial scale.

Hugh’s Fish Fight on Channel 4 earlier this month focused on changing the fishing methods of the big tuna brands and own-label supermarkets.

The food corporations’ proposed changes are far better than nothing.

However, although the big brands may well promise a “pole and line” range, their primary business remains likely unchanged.

Each Fish4Ever can has a story - including the smallest tuna fishing boats in the world.

This is not an eco-add-on. Fish4Ever’s raison d’être is care of land, sea and people.

That’s what I call an ethical company.

“Bring cushion, blanket and vegetarian food to share,” were the instructions for yesterday’s meditation workshop at the Pierian Centre.

I have never known a pot luck not to work: my plate was filled with favourite foods such as raw beetroot and seaweed, butter bean salad, rice and lentil salad, raw carrot and hummus…

We practiced eating meditation. We ate in silence, aiming to chew each mouthful consciously, with 50 chews.

Eating silently and slowly in company was strangely relaxing.

I had helped promote this event with Saint Stephen’s and the Pierian Centre so it made sense to go.

But I had dreaded it. What? A whole day of meditation? I felt trapped.

Instead the day was rich and intense.

The workshop was led by Claude AnShin Thomas supported by KenShin.

(“How do I address you?” I had asked KenShin. “Ken – like Ken and Barbie – and shin as in leg,” she answered.)

Claude AnShin Thomas was a Vietnam veteran with post-traumatic stress – like many in the military or caught in war.

His spiritual practice helped him cope with flashbacks and emotional pain.

Meditation does not make horrifying experiences go away.

But being conscious, or awake, paradoxically makes trauma easier to cope with.

You learn to sit with discomforting feelings rather than self-medicate or distract yourself to push them away.

Claude AnShin Thomas is funny, straightforward, down-to-earth, profound and deeply touching.

A mendicant monk, he is homeless, goes wherever he can make a difference, and lives on donations.

He works for peace with the Zaltho Foundation by being as conscious as possible. “Everyone has their Vietnam,” he says.

I have marched for peace but peace activists can work for peace by healing the war inside, too.

I am reading his book, At Hell’s Gate. Beautifully written, so worth reading.

He’s not a new-age guru making money from spirituality, but a man with a troubled past who found his spiritual practice bought him peace, and who has dedicated his life to sharing this to help others.

And this real-ness transmits, I swear.

So I was invited to the actual awards last Wednesday.

They were held this year at the launch of the 12-day Start festival to celebrate sustainable living.

And at Clarence House gardens, open to the public for the first time.

So I made an effort, bought a reclaimed frock for £25 at Dutty’s in Bristol, caught the coach (National Express not golden) to Victoria, and walked to the Mall.

Me (in sister’s shoes) in front of earth house with grass roof and circular windows.

My first royal photo of Higher Hacknell Farm Organic Food Award winners, Jo and her husband Tim Budden, receiving rightful organic congratulations from HRH Prince Charles.

I had a touching royal moment myself exchanging greetings – I feel Prince Charles (and Soil Association patron) is an earth ally, and uses his position well. I award him the Winkler Seal of Approval.

It was an uplifting evening, meeting old friends and new, especially enlivening because it was held outdoors. Outdoors on a summer evening = good!

Here is a pic from the Bee keeping stall with Daylesford foundation

And a pic of the organic veg garden at Clarence House (could the bare earth do with more plants growing, permaculture-style?).

Here is a chest of drawers imaginatively filled with plants from Garden Organic

And an organic chicken

Pic of the Organic Food Awards certificates awaiting collection by their winners.

At the end of the evening, on my way to Green Park station, I saw the ubiquitous discarded Tesco plastic bag.

Funny. Because my day had begun by taking a Guardian photographer round Stokes Croft in Bristol for a feature by John Harris in next weekend’s Weekend Guardian on UK-wide campaigns against Tescos.

What does it mean?

PS Here is the pic that Guardian photographer, Jon Tonks, took of me outside Cafe Kino in my Dutty royal get-up.

There was so much on offer: every hour 10 simultaneous workshops and/or live gigs  to choose from.

Abundance was the festival’s theme. At first I moaned, stressed by having to choose, and being catapulted outside my comfort zone, cut off from home and the internet.

I plodded around the three field-festival site. I got effortlessly fitter from plodding.

This Tibetan soup – from the Outer Regions cafe - sustained me. So nourishing. light and warming. Perfect for rainy days and before dance workshops.

(Soup – something you can make quickly with what’s in the fridge. Fry onions or leeks, chilli and garlic. Slice or chop veg: carrots, courgettes, green beans, potatoes – the smaller you cut ‘em the quicker they cook. Add a handful of cooked dried beans such as butter beans or open a tin of plain beans. The trick with soup is how much water: it is easier to add than than remove. So start with two mugfuls and see how it goes. Add noodles towards the end of cooking.  Season with black pepper.)

I am grateful to Mike for making healthy refreshing breakfast every morning.

A camping-must. Muesli and fruit (bring knife to chop). Add water, so no cooking needed.

Festivals are up-and-down (like life) – all I know is I felt great when I got back.

Here’s a delightful news item from ITV: over a minute of dancing protest.

But it was also possibly the most stressful because – post-riot – it wasn’t just a matter of ringing up our local bobby.

Instead, we were invited to respectful, professional meetings with Silver and Bronze commanders, who supported our right for a peaceful protest but were thinking worst-case scenarios, and asking: how would we deal with them?

I realised the police, like the medical profession, are (bless ‘em) fear-driven.

So, for a few weeks leading up to the No Tesco Tea Party I felt the weight of responsibility. Dreamed of police on horseback bursting through my front door. Worried about upsetting local charities such as Relate and the Salvation Army who’d been damaged in the riots. Angsted about offending rock throwers, too.

(Rock throwing is not my style but anyone caught-up in those two crazy riot nights might need support so please contact BristolArresteeSupport@Riseup.net, mentioned in June’s edition of The Autonomist.

And anyone with unanswered questions about the Stokes Croft disturbances, please sign the petition asking Bristol City Council for a public inquiry.)

Our protest took place in front of Tesco in Stokes Croft. I was glad to talk with Tesco managers because this campaign is not against supermarket employees.

It’s against supermarkets destroying communities in their single-minded drive for market shares.

The truth is I am a communicator.

I find enemy positions deeply unhelpful. I would rather build bridges.

Listen, we are all victims of the same soulless system that puts profit before people. So let’s find our common humanity and work together for a better world.

When Monday 13 June dawned – bright sunshine after Sunday’s torrential rain – I felt confident. Our protest would be – as all our protests have always been – peaceful.

And it was.

I was moved by the joy and the dancing

and the homemade cakes

and cucumber sandwiches (note Princess Diana tea-tray)

and anti-Tesco knitting protestor.

I was moved by Mark who did not agree with our campaign but became a volunteer peace marshall because he supported our right to a peaceful protest.

For goodness sake, there is disagreement even when you are on “the same side”. So, shaking hands with Richard whom I had met online when our political views clashed made me happy: this is what community is all about.

The No Tesco in Mill Road campaigners had come all the way from Cambridge to join our protest. Thank you!

Our Tea Party protest was to create awareness for our appeal for a judicial review.

Our appeal was heard on Wednesday 15 June in Cardiff.

And we won.

Thanks to People’s Republic of Stokes Croft, Jake and peace marshalls

and People’s Supermarket for donating free food.

O and here’s one of me, thanks to Nadia of GRO-FUN.